This is my snippet this
week for SFFSat. SFFSat is a
place where a number of authors post snippets from their written
works, and give the opportunity for comments, support and encouragement.
Please also explore the other blogs that are part of this set - you
can find the information here.
CONTENT ADVISORY: this snippet contains an amount of bad language. Don't blame me - blame Sorrel. I've asked my heroine to temper her language - she told me to volg off. So now you know who is to blame.
This is the very beginning of Sorrel in Scarlet.
Any landing you can walk away from is a
good one.
This wasn’t.
I crawled out of the wreckage of the
dead triplane, grabbing at the jasq to take that, at least, with me
as I twisted out of the ripped canvas and broken spars. Blood was
oozing from the gash in my side, and from the gash in my head, and
probably from the other gashes I hadn't spotted yet.
Merik was dead. A branch had skewered
him cleanly through the heart. His face had a look of surprised
annoyance. I howled obscenities at the lafquassing scarlet trees that
had wrenched the aeroplane into the ground and killed my friend, and
more obscenities at Wrack, wherever he might be. I use too much foul
language at the best of times - Tolly used to complain that I
couldn't complete a sentence without saying 'volg' or 'lafquass' -
but now I discovered just how wide a vocabulary of swear-words I
possessed.
Comments welcome, as always!
Hee hee!! What a lafquassing good snippet! Gotta love a little bit of swearing peppered into the tale. Good stuff!!
ReplyDeleteThanks - I really enjoy coming up with faux swear-words (lafquas is actually the Legal Aid Franchise Quality Assurance Standard - which is definitely a swearword in my experience!).
DeleteKiller first and second line. I re-read them like three times. Great details and you thew in a pinch of humor for lightening the dark moment--lovely.
ReplyDeleteI spent a long time on these first few lines - I'm glad they work.
DeleteOh man...flashbacks to SERENITY. Oy. (Damn you, Joss Whedon!) Wonderful worldbuilding even in this small bit. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought of Serenity at all, but yes - it is just the same form of death as Wash suffers.
DeleteI always enjoy a bit of swearing in dialects I don't know. LOL. This is definitely a great opening to leave me shrieking to know more of what the heck is going on. Nice!
ReplyDeleteI tried to stop Sorrel swearing, but she can get quite... um... vociferous at times. So the different dialect became an essential.
DeleteOne person walking away is still a relatively good wreck.
ReplyDeleteDon't tell Sorrel that - she is very angry about losing Marek (and guilty, too). Of course, she has also decided that Wrack is doomed...
DeleteNow, I'm curious as to what specific objects or actions "volg" and "lafquass" refer.
ReplyDeleteLafquas - the real world explanation is in my reply to tk, but in Sorrel's world - I can't answer you within a family friendly context! Volg ditto, but I will add that volg is a typical four letter word...
DeleteWhat a great snippet! Poor Sorrel, though. To go through that...
ReplyDeleteFirst rule of writing - give your charactrs hell. (Ummm, Sorrel, put that sword down... ow! Help!)
Delete"Any landing you can walk away from is a good one.
ReplyDeleteThis wasn’t."
Gave me chills, Peter!
:) Heidi
Thanks! That's very flattering - exactly what I was trying to achieve.
DeleteFoul language! Heck, Sorrel should meet my wife. That would be a colourful conversation, although I can't say I've ever heard her utter 'volg.' I'll check back with her and let you know.
ReplyDeleteI'll wait with interest! ;-)
DeleteGood opening. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I'm trawling through what I've been writing recently looking for a new snippet for this week - haven't yet found anything I think deserves the spotlight.
DeleteFrell, I love invented swear words :D
ReplyDelete