If anyone hasn't come across WeWriWar before, you need to go here to see all the extraordinary talent on display.
My snippet this week is again from Impcatcher, and comes from a few lines beyond where we were last week. Tal Djandiss, the eponymous impcatcher of the title, is still in a pitch black cellar, where he has managed to grab hold of the rogue imp he was hunting.
The imp was not greatly troubled at being caught.
It turned, chortling, and sank its teeth into my arm. Quozacs have
more ivories in their mouths than any creature has any right to have.
Not that they are unique amongst imps in that respect. The teeth
carved through the thick leather of my jacket, and I felt them clamp
into my flesh. The pain was appalling, like a dozen snakes biting at
once, and I cried out in anger and agony. I twisted desperately, and
the back of the brute's head slammed into the pillar near me. For a
moment, the impact drove its teeth deeper into my bicep, but it
howled in pain in response, mouth opening wide, releasing my arm.
I wasn't going to give it a second chance.
As always, comments welcome!
Ouch! I wouldn't give it a second chance either. Nice snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks - and you're right not to give it a second chance!
DeleteNasty little monster! Excellent snippet, Peter!
ReplyDeleteNote to self: Don't get close to a mouthy imp! Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteGood advice!
DeleteGreat description of this nasty little critter!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteOh for sure, do NOT give that creature a second chance - wow, really felt the character's pain at being bitten. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteAn imp bite sounds like a very, very bad thing. Hope he's got some ointment on hand.
ReplyDeleteI suspect it's not the first time he's been bitten - he'll have the necessary medicaments to hand.
DeleteOuch! He needs some more armor. Like those padded leather gloves they use for giving feral cats their shots...
ReplyDeleteGood thought - he needs to invest in some!
DeleteThe snippet is quite wondrous.. Caitlin has some good suggestions. There's a sense of reality throughout.
ReplyDeleteThanks - and I agree about Caitlin's advice.
DeleteLove how he goes from struggling and crying out against pain of the imp's (nasty-sounding) bite to that last line--not going to give the imp a second chance. What's up for the imp? I hope we get to find out next week!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry - the imp's fate will appear next time.
DeleteIt seems a nasty little creature and I can sympathise with him not giving it a second chance. Nice, descriptive snippet.
ReplyDeleteMost imps are - which is what keeps Tal in business.
DeleteI trust its bite is not poisonous!
ReplyDeleteFortunately, this imp isn't, though a number of them are.
DeleteGreat action sequence...and loved the final line, with its determination.
ReplyDeleteTal doesn't give up easily!
DeleteThe comparison to snake bites brought his pain to life, especially since I can't imagine imp bites are particularly clean and antiseptic.
ReplyDeleteImps are not hygenic creatures!
DeleteReminds me of the many times a black rat snake has expressed its displeasure at being picked up. They usually calm down after that and become very tame.
ReplyDeleteI've never handled a rat snake - constrictors, yes, but not anything that bites. Not sure I'd want to!
Deletei loved this scene. So well done.
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet. Love the action and the description. My only surprise was that his arms were't better protected. He describes the teeth in detail, so I'm assuming he's come across this type of imp before. Wouldn't he have something to protect his arms? Just a small thought.
ReplyDeleteHe wasn't expecting to face something as big and nasty - not wise of him.
DeleteOuch, that's nasty! Clear visuals, your excerpts have been great with that. I bet you had fun writing this.
ReplyDeleteThanks - and yes, this was fun to write.
DeleteLord, that's one nasty imp! All those teeth...gives me the willies just thinking of it. This guy is good if he can still hang on to the imp through all that. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteHe's had years of practice.
DeleteSmart idea - not giving it a second chance.
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
Thanks for tweeting it - much appreciated!
DeleteLove this. My favorite was the line about having more ivories than any creature has a right to. I like this narrator's spunk.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Tal tends to have a sardonic turn of phrase.
DeleteI love his internal voice. And your action writing is outstanding! :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the compliment - much appreciated!
DeleteGreat action, I could almost feel the pain of the imp's bite thanks to your comparison to snakes biting. I certainly felt relieved that the imp finally let go.
ReplyDeleteGreat action, I could almost feel the pain of the imp's bite thanks to your comparison to snakes biting. I certainly felt relieved that the imp finally let go.
ReplyDelete