Friday 26 October 2012

SFFS snippet


This is my first snippet for SFFS - I hope it is of at least some interest.
This is an extract from Sorrel Snowbound, the sequel to my current published novel, Sorrel in Scarlet. Snowbound is still a long way from completion, but this is a short section from what is currently chapter nine. Our heroine, Sorrel is in a railway yard - and she has heard something moving in the darkness...
 
Luck is a fickle, untrustworthy lover. Give him half a chance and he'll abandon you for another woman. This had to be a case in point. I had very little doubt just what was groffling along the wall towards me - it was almost certainly shaggy, with big, soulful eyes, four short, rather comical legs, and a head with a long, slightly prehensile snout. Oh, and lots and lots of teeth and hunger. How many stations bother to have a balehound on guard duty? I suppose if your sidings regularly contain wealth and riches then it might be worth it, but that had to be a rarity. Galdoren didn't strike me as an affluent town, where expensive goods might be left in wagons overnight. Which meant that Master Luck had decided to dump me. If I ever got my hands on his new woman, I'd scratch her eyes out.


Comments and thoughts welcomed!

27 comments:

  1. Oh, ouchie!! Scratch her eyes out!! Not sure I'm liking what groffling along the wall...eeee!
    I'm liking the way this is written (and you had me at the title). Welcome to SFFSat!!

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  2. Welcome to SFFSat! Love that last line :)

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  3. Thanks to both of you - I'm grateful for the welcome.

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  4. Welcome to SFFSat, Peter!

    Love the whimsy of the narrator here, even in her tight spot!

    Good job with the misdirect when describing the balehound--cute and cuddly to vicious hunter.

    Enjoyable prose!

    :) Heidi

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    1. That's typical Sorrel - her internal voice tends to launch into short flights of fantasy.

      Thanks for the welcome!

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  5. Great to see you on board Peter! I hope that we will see you again :-) Love this snippet - really looking forward to the next piece (not to mention the finished product).

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    1. You certainly will see me again - I'm like bubonic plague, once you've got me, I'm difficult to get rid of... Don't hold your breath for Snowbound - going to be well into the new year, by my current reckoning, but I plan to inflict more extracts upon you. Evil, me?

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  6. Welcome to SFFSat! Great snippet. Curse that Luck and his ADD-like whims.

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    1. Thanks for the welcome! Luck insists he doesn't have ADD - he just falls for the next pretty face who comes along. He pays them lots of attention - it just doesn't last.

      Oh, that is Attention Deficit? He prefers the word "fickle".

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  7. I LOVE her inner monologue. Her slight deviation in her train of thought is priceless. Fantastic details, great anticipation. Wonderful first time. Welcome! Looking forward to more.

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    1. Thanks! Odds are next week's snippet will be another internal commentary - it isn't easy to shut Sorrel up...

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  8. Love the balehound, and welcome to SFF Saturday. Can balehounds be distracted?

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    1. Not easily. Sorrel does deal with this one, more by luck than judgement. I enjoyed writing it up so much that another balehound turns up two chapters later. Sorrel really doesn't like balehounds...

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  9. Doesn't sound like someone I'd want to cross...great stuff, and welcome to the #sffsat crew!

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    1. Thanks! I'm really grateful for all the kind and welcoming words from everyone.

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  10. "If I ever got my hands on his new woman, I'd scratch her eyes out."

    Great line! Nice snippet. Has some nice world-building details, too. Welcome to SFFSat!

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    1. Typical Sorrel - her response to most situations is to contemplate violence. Thanks for the kind words!

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  11. Welcome to SFFSat, Peter! Great snippet! I love the description of the balehound and Sorrel's wry reaction to it.

    SORREL IN SCARLET is on my TBR list based on Laurel's recommendation already. I'm looking forward to reading more about your heroine.

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    1. Thanks, JC! I really appreciate the encouragement!

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  12. Oh, I am liking this. Great description, though I am wondering if there's a particular reason she's in a railway yard.

    Welcome to SFFSat!

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    1. Thanks, Gayle. She's trying to sneak aboard a train in the morning, because she hasn't got papers to allow her to travel openly. She managed to sneak into the sidings without being noticed by human guards, and was feeling vaguely smug about that success. Not clever of her...

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  13. Nice snippet Peter - looks like you are already in the swing of things! Welcome to the gang :)

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    1. Thanks, Chantal! You've all made me feel very welcome!

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  14. Love the sharp, succint imagery, as if not a word was wasted. Intriguing internal monologue and the way she deduced her situation. Nice work!

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    1. Thanks, Karen - I'm very grateful for the encouragement!

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  15. Welcome to SFFSat! Sorry I'm late with my comments; life ate my face this week.

    I /love/ the depiction of Luck as a man -- such a great change from the usual description of it as a lady that it instantly holds one's attention and keeps it.

    The description of the balehound is...creepy and cute at the same time. Makes me want to know more about it, but at the same time I really don't!

    Great work. Glad to see you've joined our group!

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    1. I know the feeling about life devouring all spare moments - hope things are going better for you this week.

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